Re: ^_^

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 7:45 PM

Hi dearest,this is the email i should send earlier...
now i have to go to cybercafe (warnet)

It’s a good thing u tell me lot of story. I just hope that everything will run well as we plan.
Hmmm…as I said, I don’t want to talk about ur plan to go to Indonesia . I am scare to imagine if someday in the future this whole plan is just a story. I will just listen and wish everything in control honey. I hope u can manage them well. You are a gentleman, ur life will be in ur control. It is not school to control you or elder commission, or friends, or bureau… it is you who has to control ur life. it is you when to decide to go or to do this and that. I will just support u.

are you still in team? That is the question u didn’t answer. U told me u want to quit that pain ball and join the highest level at other team.

I will consider if you want to apply to be my staff :P are you experienced enough?

Btw, I never plan to get a better shop among my brothers and sisters, it is my good luck. My fate. it is really easier for me to leave the shop now and also to sell phones. We can move here and there and leave the shop and entrust with the other sister or brother. And also half of the phones in my shop are endra’s stock. And it is really helping if my shop near to him. It is easier to confirm the lower price because the phone belongs to him and also I can ask some help to check phone when I want to buy it. (this is the first step to learn how to be my staff)


But behind this luck and happiness I also have some trouble forward.
Wanna know??????

First problem is, I have lots of debt from any loan. That is for certain expenditure.
The others are;
- There are lots of new shops open in the same time, almost ten as I surveyed after this lebaran, it means more competitors.
- This is rainy season and make some people don’t want to go out.
- The sales are lower than before for almost all shop and the cost is fixed. Its also happened to my brothers and sisters and also me. It declines almost half. I just got break even for the monthly cost. Hiks
- The plaza Andalas has problem in financial and has debt to State Electricity Enterprise about Rp. 4 bilion. It makes trouble for the future. There is rumor they will close the plaza for 6 days to solve this problem. This debt has been mention in National TV and Newspaper. It cutting the profit but not the fix cost, L

But they didn’t mention about the loss of power down.
The power down is rather often after the election. Usually their reason is ‘lack of water in lake’, as our power resource is water lake and its rainy season now. (I don’t know whether my statement is correct, is there any co-relation with this system?)


That are some reasons that I am not in the right time to open a new one. Actually I should consider when is the right time, but I can not wait any longer anymore. So.. I should take this risk.

While reading ur mail… I am so happy. But I should not be that happy because I don’t know what will happen next. We just hope all in control and try hard to make it come true. I put my hope on u (how do we say it?) you are the only blablabla… (take control, take responsible, take me!)

Well, that’s some story…

Come fast here and you will see the situation and get involve in entrepreneur if you come everyday to my shop… interested??

READ MORE - Re: ^_^

Re: I want to ask you something

Friday, October 31, 2008 10:48 AM

my dearest geart,

if u want to ask me whether i love u, yes! i love u so much.

if u ask me to wait for few years, okay. i will wait.

if u want me to be ur wife, yes i do.

is it important?

i dont know honey, event so... what ever you ask me you get the positive thing and cheers ur life, it still about u.

what about me? you said you care to me, but u have made me doubt on u lately. lets say its not lately, it has been long times. i just find out this last few days. i just wake up. via wake up! this is just a dream. actually i though this dream will come true by ur effort. and i find out that effort is worthless. you are not in control. also about the finance. i dont blame u if u are not rich. but it seemed it was easy for u to decide to go abroad like ur family does. you are right if this takes longer we will end up loosing. so we dont have to make it longer. i have felt that lost. headache all the time. eventhough u can come on feb, finally its just two months. then i have to wait for several years. in that several years you said is about 1.5 years more or 2. i could say its okay if you can promise me something real. but i see there is nothing real you can not control. dont push me to say we have to end this now. i will never say to break up. i just want u to wait what is the eldercommission decision. let me now if i can call u today.

i have another staff starting today. hope my days better. eventhough i feel i am in the jungle without knowing anyone just u. in my hand, my phone, in my eyes in my life. i will try to survive.

READ MORE - Re: I want to ask you something

never been this worst

Sunday, October 26, 2008 9:26 AM

good morning my dear...

wish u in a good condition and fit any moment. right now i am in my worst feeling. i hope this is the worst and never get more than this. event so, i always want to let u now my condition, including warning not to reply u or not to send any news. i have bad feeling yesterday and almost speechless. dont worry, i just have to calm my feeling, just need time. i still love u honey. i didnt sleep over the night, and also have nightmare, in my dream, my sister drinks poison as she cant survive to have burden in life. what a very scary dream and i scream alot that i found her like that. and then i woke up at 3am, i try to send u message, but there is problem with phone, it was pending. i dont know is it the phone or ur number. it is still in question, because i try to use another phone different from before and have to check whether it works or there is problems.

yesterday is saturday, so crowded, but i didnt earn any. i know why and its ok.

what i got yesterday is i have almost three broken phones. the one has short circuit i guess, cos when i put the battery, it was so hot like ironing. the other i can use for call, it directly turn off coz the battery is so low. the other one is trying to send message all the time and fail even the card is inactive. hmmmm... bad situation.

about how i get angry; u get me wrong for one case. jealosy. i am angry for jealosy means. i will angry if i am jealous to u not u are to me. u are handsome and has so many fans :P so i should watch out if someone touch u. hehe... i will be angry if u react to like it :P

honey, i still get headache this morning, coz i didnt have any sleep till this morning. i want to call u yesterday but the balance is not enough to talk long hours, so i think i will call u next time and refill it first. i am sorry not to tell u last night. i still have the other problem in this house and bla bla bla. xould not tell u alot, that is my own problem. family problem. so i can not concern just to ur message or my broken phone.

honey, next week you will have school again and the second next week u will have exam. i should not suggest u to study, shouldnt i? just do ur best. i am here always thinking of u.

what elese.... wheat else..?still want to talk to u, want to be with u, want to touch ur hair,

READ MORE - never been this worst

RE: supair

Thursday, October 23, 2008 6:12 PM

U make me confuse. Smart guy huh? Difficult for me to judge u. Geart i am sorry, i have done my best i think. I have a request now, could be a burden for u. I hope i can marry soon now. Different plan than bfore. I am so afraid to let u go. I cant let u free so many years. If God bless me, i want to get married less than 1year later with u. If i have to pass that limit i think i will have alot of worries about my future. I dont know why i should discuss it right now, maybe cos of worry that some one else will take u frm me and i have to cry and release one whole years hurt feeling. It waste my time of course. I dont mind if u marry me and extend ur study. I will wait. U can do what best for family and can leave me here. There is nothing can tie u unless marriage. Its imposible to let u go back to belanda with the free feeling after 6months relationship here with me. I cant do that. I dont want to force u if u cant. And also we have to see whether wereally meant tobe. The most important thing is i already told u my mind. If later i change the plan it must be ur fault :p its easy to say. Of course takes months for the procedure. At least it has crossd on my mind honey. I underline my word. I cant let u go. I love u geart. I could be die thinking to break up with u at any moment. I really cant.

READ MORE - RE: supair

fixing

Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:28 PM

Hi honey, I just reach home few minutes ago. This is my first activity ‘typing’
I think I want to fix something. Even though u have described me the thing and tell the situation happened, and I can accept that. I still need to refix it again.

Actually today I made record at plaza. But it doesn’t work as I am alone and people come and go asking me then I have to pause and stop then I forget what I said before. So I retell it again by typing. I actually do not have many spare times at home to type. Finally I can feel every time I reach home, my body feels tired and need to take rest sooner. I also wake up early in the morning coz I want to give a little time to help my mom before I do my own business. i open internet early morn and check if you send something, if you send then I will think what to answer while doing my activity. I will reply asap before leaving.

Today I didn’t earn any thing. Zero!.. day by day I will taste different tention and happiness. Also boring and cheering. I had so much tention today because of my stupidity. I have so less information about phone product. I cant answer customer question directly. I have to see my notes. But I don’t want to see my notes in front of customer. So then I cant answer fast. It makes me feel stupid. I know I didn’t earn any today because I cant make them stay because they have finished asking for one question that has slow answer :P. so.. finally I decide to take staff sooner. I actually need the guy one, but its okay now if I got girl.

I thank you so much when you say you support me and proud of me. That is the only thing I want to hear. Because all the thing I did right now is for you, even though I didn’t tell it before. Now I will tell it.

Do u still remember my basic life model. the rest of my life goal? For husband and family! Right now in front of me, the one I love, the only candidate I have, the mr. right -à is you. you have done your effort and your best to come here. We have talked about December.
The idea I have is to accompany you in that lovely December. I should think how I can be with you whole days and how I can control and manage my own schedule.
Before I decided what the best thing I do for my career is related to my future husband, My life’s goal. finally I choose to make a shop. The biggest chance to arrange my own schedule and the same time to work is open a shop. I told you this is not me. But I choose this because I love you. I bend my career and willing to be someone else since I met you. it seems God has changed my life’s path. He knows better than me, I will do any thing towards the man He chooses for me.

I know what you have did to me. This is what I did to you.
Do you think I will just say “I will forget you geart…”
This is the stupid thing for real.

We plan something for real. We will have some obstacles and variety emotions. If something goes wrong… we have to fix it. If I hurt you because of frankly speaking, or uncontrolled emotion, or period condition, or angry or mad, or tired or blab la bla… I need you to stay with me, calm down via…

This lately, since I meet a lot of person at plaza… they asked me ‘do I have boyfriend’
Sometimes I explain the real condition that you are so far, sometimes I just said yes I did.
Sometimes there is match finder and I have to refuse and say I had bf, still they want to know who. The annoying thing is when I have to explain ‘ oooww he will come in December… ‘ then I will ask my self ‘shall he come on dec?’
Why I cant make sure my self that my bf will come on dec.
Because I know nothing about his plan. He just says he has plan to come on dec.
One more thing… I need communication.
If you feel comfort with me and you trust me 100% that I will keep my heart, it is because I let u know everything. I also want to know it from you. and I wait u to tell it to me.

What the hell?. What the fcuk? Is that your best word reading my notes?

I am so happy that you give me the schedule of your internship. It means you will be here on that date. It means I will see you again. Is that enough? As you had promise and make me flying with that lovely December and told you will celebrate my new year and my birthday here with me… do I deserve to hear ‘what the hell are you talking, via?’
I still can say I love you even though my tears drop and close the phone with the sad feeling. But for me… the most important thing is I know you love me. Logically you will do your best. I will wait you and end up with marriage. This is my plan. If I cant make it, that must be not my false, because I had tried my best to stay with you.

i love you with all my heart.

READ MORE - fixing

lets see

Sun, 12 Oct 2008

no... i just try this one right now. still learn honey.
i was in this kind of company about two weeks as a trader and marketing. my responsibility was to find investor and trade his money. but its quite difficult at that time, and i was new in jakarta, i recognize people few. so now, there is an online media, it is easy tobe installed and play with that without i have to work somewhere or to invest big amount. its free.

few years ago i plan to invest such this gambling if i have alot of money.in the company, i was trained and did some simulation or virtual trading. and i always make some profit. i made profit often than loss. so i think i have the intuition for this one. :P

i like gambling, also play card :P with some relatives for fun.

if i can manage the virtual money in this game, i will try my live real money that they gave $5.
i will try more and more, if i still have mood. this is also a future plan to be rich in front of pc.
let me explain you a bit. or probably you already read them.

here, we trade currency.

exp. EUR/USDright now in marketiva its price 1.34i should take my position to BUY or SELL.if my intuition say the price will be higher, i should BUY now and SELL after. so, intuition is important. expert will consider the technical information. todays news, supply and demand, USA and EUROPE business will influence the price of course.

a kind of person like YOU will like this. :P

yess... you should take time to learn first. just join it and play virtual to learn.
ok honey... if you dont like it, just pass it. i will tell you my info.

right now i take SELL postion of EUR/USD. i consider the price of EURO will be lower because of bla bla bla. i BUY virtual $1000, as my portfolio is given $10.000. so if i lost this poin, i still have $9000. and some remain loss from $1000.

can u get it???

lets see if my intuition is right or wrong. :P

READ MORE - lets see

ur record

Fri, 10 Oct 2008

Hi honey,

I already did my task :P listening to ur records. And i am speechless. I love you so much.
You are the one.

I also like to listen to ur activities there, it feels so close to me. I imagine I am still in my room and u already made ur own breakfast in the kitchen and I just …………….

“honey…. What is the noise?” via is asking from the bed room. Then Geart replies loudly “Ow, its me, want some bread honey?”.
Via wakes up from bed and walk down stair. She knew Geart is somewhere making some noise and finally know it was in the kitchen. It’s a bit late she wakes up and the sun already arose. She embraces Geart from his back and whisper
“honey, why don’t u wake me up and let me prepare for you?”
Geart turns his body and give her a morning kiss. That is a better kiss she can feel with the sun ray from the windows towards her face. Geart pulls a dining chair and hold her shoulder,
“honey, just sit properly here and I will prepare for you today”,
“mmmm….” She stands and hug him again tightly “you are so nice…”

Love u.

READ MORE - ur record

responsibility

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 9:07 PM

tobe honest, i am so busy today but still the phone in my hand. thinking of you will not reply me at the same moment, so i didnt reply u too. but as usual i read it many many times.
i didnt reply it not because i will not reply, but because i think you will read then reply only at night and its also almost late midnight. i could not expect you to reply me at school, that is the little possibilities. i was dissapointed, but i have responsibility to let my bf knows my condition right now. so then i need to tell him.

and also i understand our relationship. i dont blame you honey, i love you and also you know me. we are the same person, whatever happen in our relationship i will not let you go. even smetimes i got angry but it will not change anything, i still wait you. i will let you go if only i could not take care of my heart any more.

yup, i understand that you r busy, but it is your problem to take control of everything, if you want everything runs well in your hand you should manage them well, and also me in your planning. it is useless if you try hard for the school and also the ticket but finally we break up. i dont want it happen of course. i hope it will not. and of course this small problem will not cause that break up :P

it is the same thing to the basic model i made. i make effort of anything and its far far away from my goals in life, i dont get happiness in it, then when i make the model i realized what exactly i want. that also makes me go home to fulfill my mom's wish. my goal is to make them happy, so i forget everything in Jakarta and follow what my heart tells.
the next goal for the rest of my life is to serve my family (husband and children)you probably one of the candidate. you are in the first list right now. because of that i put everything related to you in important folder.

i appreciate your effort right now and never mind that you are still student. i also dont have eagerness to get married soon. i think i will not wait also for 2.5 years. but that is a further time. i can not figure what happen for the next 10 minutes, why i should limit my self for the next 2.5 years problem. only God knows.

sincerelly your love via

READ MORE - responsibility

how to fix this?

Tue, 30 Sep 2008

i am so not patient person as you know.i actually will not tell this that i really check my inbox through my mobile many many times, only minutes counting. because its too easy to check it, i dont have to open my laptop and connect to the internet, so thats make me stupid by checking it all the time as i know you will just reply me at least 3 times a day. but why i am such a stupid person checking it too much.

i spend also my money to open it from my mobile, i dont mind for that even though i see nothing is there but i feel satisfy to make sure it was not there. but still gambling who knows it will be there after few second. seconds..!!

its really not fair to me. how to fix this.you know my time, indonesian time, dont you ever think that i dont know ur time. i know when you wake up, when you get back from school, that also your internship appears in belanda newspaper, and also searching leewarden city in google earth. what am i doing???? tell me! am i crazy enough?

how to fix this? how to ignore u at any moment?

the phone is there, the mobile phone is in my hand 24 hours, and also the willingness to read your mail in it, there is no obstacle unless the provider is broke. and even though i just close down my laptop after connecting to the internet few minutes ago and go to my bed, i still again check my inbox through it whether few seconds ago you sent something... silly!

i am crazy.

and i hate u!

i understand you are busy, but it doesnt mean you can deny i am here. feel it geart. how do you feel if you open ur mail and its not there... i feel it hundreds time. i need you to fix this. this is not the right time i try to ignore u or you forget me for a while. i had try to be not selfish and always replying your mail at the same time u sent it, event just to say three words. and i will warn to continue later.and also you know i will not sleep and let your mail at this midnight without replying it. dont u think u also want to read mine> event only nonsense talking.

i just want to say

i love u and pls fix this.

READ MORE - how to fix this?

cradle to the grave

September 29, 2008 4:01 PM

this is about to find out who you are and what you live for
i found this sketch while i was desperate and confuse to decide what i have to do. then i finally make this basic sketch to know what exactly i want in my life today and tomorrow.

before listening to my record, i would like to ask you some question which related to this basic sketch because i dont want you get influenced by my aims. :P

first: do you know what you were born for? or since you were born and know how to live what are you doing as long as your life.

second: do you know your position right now? today what you live for, what will you do then

third: from today to the end of life, what you gonna do?keep all answer in ur mind
not many people prepare to death and i dont plan also, i just make a limit to it.
so.....
now you can listen to my record and draw your own and explain me after okay..
i already try this one to my sister and guide her one by one to the end of sketch and she find out that she is selfish and never think like what i think.

here is the simple via sketch model "CRADLE TO THE GRAVE"

READ MORE - cradle to the grave

Tired

Wed, 9/24/08 3:40 PM

I am very very tired right now.

I have stomach pain, I am not yet fully recover so I have low energy to do something. And the worst thing is I am the only child staying at home to take the parents problem right now. Ughh.. my mom is still crying for this two days. Actually I should be a good listener for her. But unfortunately I am not. She does something worst by messaging my dad’s staff. She was angry and jealous like a 20s couple who feels being cheated. It makes me stress awhile.

The bad thing about my mom is she has negative thinking many times. I tried to help my self not to do the same for this last four years. Both of them are great person, so we never want to let go any of them. Too bad I have to pass this problem at this moment.

Just now she cried again and I just can help her to release the feeling by spelling God’s name thousand times. This is what I am doing also when I was cheated and its really hurt for the girl. So I cant control the guy, I should control my self. And the only way to cure from the love suffer is giving ur fate to God, and spell His name any moments. Then I am alive again.

Saya kamu pertumbuhan??? What do u want to say?

I you growth? :P silly !

Oya, in my record song you often to listen “aku”

Aku is the same to saya

Don’t get confuse. And its better you search the lyrics at google.

Just search the title and it will come up, so then when you listen to it you can read the lyrics.

Ooo… she come to me again and pouring her heart, and I am typing while listening. I used phone connection right now.

Now it already 10 minutes, I already cure her and back to you :P

But I have nothing in my mind, its gone.

See u again my dear.

Love u

Wed, 9/24/08 3:40 PM

READ MORE - Tired

Re: the indo language 4

Mon, 9/22/08 4:10 PM

Yes i am home. I was asleep 4 hours and my good friend calkd and woke me up to hear the phone rang. I had promise with her today that we will have journey but i didnt hang up the phone. I will just dissapoint her to know i am sick. She just came frm jkt yestrday. She was my frd since senior school. We r good in relationship even not to take care each other. I have the other who also good frd and take care of me alot but also kill me fm my back. Too bad.
So then i just wake up and eat and suddently i want to eat my mango fm the tree. Like a pregnant lady wants smthing. I try to pick up my self but its difficult n i fail. The rest mango on the tree is the last one, at the higher branch. Ugh!
We picked them all last day and they tasted sooo good. I said it many times that i've never eaten such a good taste. Fresh fm the garden. :p

oya, its too bad u made the report without communicate it first. Maybe u havent askd the other superior who made the report too. I guess it happen to u many times :p
oh yes i am a jealous person. Everybody will to see her bf as handsome as u. I think i changed a bit, that i know i should not tie u cos if u are not meant tobe with me, it means u will leave me now or tmorrw. Dont worry, take ur time and u will know i am the best. Hahaha. Kidding. I have spy everywhere, so i know u r still with me :p . Hugs

READ MORE - Re: the indo language 4

Re: the indo language 2

Mon, 9/22/08 1:05 PM

Good morning GG,

i read ths mail again cos yestrday my head was error and cant record what u said. Now i already can retell the story u had :p.
It is good reason to leave ur team now. The time is perfect. When u come back a year after u can join a better team without any burden.
I will help about the indo language and record other function next time. Even though i cant speak 5 languages, but to have u who can speak 6 is a big pride for this gf :p.
I dont fast today to give my body enough nutrients. Its not good to fast while sick, but fasting even makes someone fater (to whom in healthy condition)
actualy i become better today a bit, but there is family problem force me to think of them. My mom and dad had fight and made my mom wants to go back to her village. And i am the one who should accompany her. This is about jealousy. At this nearly 60 my mom still has deep love to my dad that make her jealous to my dad's staff. Silly thing. We already fired the staff even she has no guilty. And also we know my dad do nothing. Its just bcos my mom is jealose to her. Hehe.
I dont know how to solve this problem any more. It happens often.
I wish she will cancel to leave and as usual after a week we pick her up, the problem is if i accompany her i wont get connection to u :p
today she went out and told us will come back at night, but we dont know where she is. For years as the elder i used to had their problem on my burden. Since i went to jakrta, my sis and bro take care of this common thing. So thats why also i said, i dont want to solve it and let hendra talks to them. He is an adult mature thinker among others. Honey, i m tird. Take to u later. Hug

Mon, 9/22/08 1:05 PM

READ MORE - Re: the indo language 2

my story

Thursday, September 4, 2008 10:48 PM

Hi baby, its so nice to write you again and again…

Actually, I have no idea what to write, but this eagerness to write you is big and after I open this word sheet, suddenly the whole things come up and really want to pour anything and share you everything. What a big mouth talk.

I already open my self piece by piece to you, by telling the story or my past, so then you can figure out who the hell is via the girl you fall in love with… (did I say fall in love?) yes! Thank you! Gotcha!

I have a story about a man I felt in love with that lives in Surabaya . As I said you I got close to him by intranet connection as we worked in the same Bank, so we chat all day long. And get closed to each other and love each other. At a time I decided to go to Surabaya to meet him, it was three months to go I have booked the ticket, I just want to show him I really meant to do it. And he’s also happy to know it. At the last moment, two months to go, his ex girl friend got back to him and ask him to be married with. He kept it for one month and he let me know after one month to go. I got really surprised what to do, I had booked my ticket, and also at the same time I was surprised and shocked that I will come there for nothing. And I really know how its feel disappointed. He said really sorry coz parents take control also. Then he offered to pay back my ticket expense. I didn’t agree, and with my big heart I decided to come as a friend. He took me anywhere even out of town, but it didn’t cure anything.

That is the story, had happened to me once, I don’t want to repeat it again. As you are now who promises to come, and I will wait you with no doubt. I promise to wait you and only give my heart for you, coz I don’t want somebody has what I have had. I will not disappoint you. I do hope you don’t have any doubt to go here or any else reason that make you cancel this travel. I already ensure my parent and they really welcome for you. Pls keep my heart Geart. I don’t want to repeat many disappointments in my life.

I had told you a lot of past stories I have, actually I have more a lot that I could not tell more to people. But they look at me as a cheerful girl, in fact it is me to welcome any hurt to my life and go with the flow. I know one thing. It is not easy to get a diamond. You have to dig deep to get the stone, and do so hard to make it as a diamond. So that’s what I believe… one day, I will get the best thing for life.

When I figure out why I was born, what I should live for, and how I should die…

The answer is family and God.

I was born to make things better. Better for family (parents, husband, children, etc)

I should live for parents, husband, children, etc. whatever to do is to make them happy.

And I should die in peace where God accepts me as a good follower.

That is the chart. But sometimes, the chart becomes blur also when I loose control, stress, depression, pressure, and become crazy. When you saw me the late two weeks is via in a good control, calm and confidence.

This past five years, I planed to fulfill my needs and help my parents, but I failed. I just help my self. I always tell them to, but I cant make it. My parents fully understand the situation and ask me not to force my self. Because there is nothing I should be worried. All brothers and sisters have been success and I had submitted something for their today successful. Parent also has something to earn. Its only me who should be worried about, hahaha…stupid girl.

Now I am free.

READ MORE - my story

1st 3pages: long story

Thursday, September 4, 2008 10:43 PM

Hi Geart, my lovely sweetheart.

I need to tell you that this lately I don’t go to plaza frequently. Coz, the shop belongs to my father will not be released by hendra’s gf in this two months. So I have no gut to learn how to sell phone that long about more than 6 months. I will not wait, so I plan to do something else. But not yet found. Every time I want to take some kind of job, I always compare it to my bro and sister’s earn. They earn a lot. If I take a job at the office, maybe I will just earn about 10 % to 20 % of theirs. So that makes me sometimes lazy to start. I just really want to open a new shop too. Hehehe… I bet I can earn more…

My friend just called and suggested to write and look up the bookseller what is the famous things come up right now. Actually I have that skill also, to be a writer. but I have an obstacle, it is mood. When writing half of it, I got stuck and then I postpone to finish it until unpredictable time. Puuuffff.. what a bad habit. I had experience, when I wrote a book and finished about 3 chapters, then suddenly there was a friend asking me to write a song for his band. Then I did it and submitted the songs, but I already had left my book and forget it till today. Even I have no mood to write it, also have no idea. Very stupid.

Now I try to stay home, doing something on my notebook. As you see right now I send you more mail. Because I want to discover my mood of writing. Maybe I will get some ideas while talking to you.

I bet you will read this mail, always. :P

Now, I am gonna share you our daily Muslim activities in fasting month. Just to let you know a bit.

Here everyday of course we fast from 4 am to 6 pm, time changes according to the area. They look at the moon to decide the time.

We do not eat, do not touch, control emotion, do not angry, keep big nice month :P, hold desire, even for husband and wife they should wait until night to make a baby :P.

We don’t eat; it is to remind us that a lot of poor do not eat too and you will know how it feels hunger. But we will not get sick because of it, on the contrary we will be healthy because all activities in a month become discipline and we do it in the same time everyday.

We do not touch our non Muhrim.

Muhrim is blood relation like family, you can only touch family, you may not touch out of the list. That’s will be called non Muhrim. also you may not touch your gf. It is a test for you to control your desire.

If you break all the rules while you are fasting, you already break your fast and means nothing.

At night, we usually pray Tarawih (solat tarawih), special worship in fasting month, we will get more and more bless if we do a lot of nice things in this month.

This is the month to forgive and forget. That’s why every year, each of us being reminded of our mistakes and has to ask apology to other person. and me too, I beg any person to forgive me by saying like this

“ Tomorrow is fasting month, I want to start my new life as a pure life, if I did mistake to you ever, pls forgive me… thx”

Some people also make it into a poem and song, many kind of apology sentence to express their apology. Early fasting month and ending fasting month become trend of forgiving. Provider will be happy of increasing income in sending messages. J

There is a special moment in fasting month, I am not sure when, even no one knows, but they will wait and guess when is the date. If you ask something on the day you find at a certain night, God will give to you whatever you ask. And this is a promise.

This is not an impossible thing. It already happens for thousand years. It is the same to when you get fallen star from the sky, as if your request and wish will be given. So, to get this moment, usually Muslim has a lot of worship and wish about 5-3 days before the end fasting month if they don’t want to miss it.

After this one month fasting, we will have Lebaran Day, like you celebrate Christmas. It is to celebrate our victory that we can pass this late one month and can feel what anybody feel even poor. also tobe patient, honest (lie is a big sin in Ramadhan). Just lie at the other month, hehehe.

We also have another big day such as Hari Raya Haji. Pilgrimage to Mecca . This is when Muslim all over the world who can able to go to Mecca will gather there. There are a lot of great thing they will find there. Every single Muslim wants to do it. It is a pride to have name Haji or Hajjah, as a title of graduation of going to Mecca . This is not because they have money to go there. But, to be there, first of all you must be a good Muslim, otherwise you don’t deserve to go there.

Good means, at least you do 5 times praying a day and take care of poor, family and use your money for the good things.

There are such a lot of thing inside Islam. But ordinary people who do not learn to be the real muslim is just like a person without a religion. They already born with that religion and some of them never care what is the Islam exactly even though they are Muslim. So, it is not strange to find Muslim with non Muslim behavior. Like also my brother and sister, sometimes they do not pray. Me too, sometimes it is so hard to do this 5 times a day, how could I do more than that. But I always compare to my friends who are success already. They walk on their lives with the bless of God. they do this 5 times praying, also read Koran, also do night praying about 2am. And they really get the true happy life, comfortable, and a lot of money.

That what makes me always remember to go back to my religion. I believe if I do what He asks me to do, I will be blessed and get everything I want. If there is a problem, I will just talk to Him and ask Him to finish it.

As I said, my life is up and down but I don’t take it too much, coz I give it back to Him and beg Him to make it easy for me… so, my life becomes more beautiful.

This is going to be the long story. I am in my mood of writing right now, so as far as I am thinking, I will write.

I already spent 2 hours for this. J

You have to share time for studying and reading my mail. Hahahha

Well, talking about me… you still have time to read. I make it three hours and you will just read it few minutes. I will cook for hours and you will just eat it few minutes and say “honey, it is tasteless… I don’t like it“

Yeaa… back to the topic, talking about me… I just look back at my pictures. Thousand pictures, some has been deleted, that my face looks so nice, smile and smile, only short list photos with the anger or dislike moment. Mostly with the happy face and smiling one. That’s why I should thank God, that I must have those beautiful moments in life, that makes everyone else jealous on me. :P

Oya, about the plan in December…

Do not plan to stay with me, because it is not allowed, as we are a couple. But if you are just Hendra’s friend, our family will be so glad to accept you home. We are welcome to pleased friends at home. This is a suggestion, but I don’t know if Hendra will offer you to stay, that is his problem to my parents :P. good for me. Hehehe…

If you have no place to stay, we’ll find a rent room as boarding house. It is not that expensive. For the nice one is about 300thou rupiah per month. I’ll find it for you…

Geart, so many persons doubt on us. On our future. But I don’t. I have decided to take care of you till the end of my effort to make you stay with me. I wish you are the last one for me, but I give it back to God, if you are the one, God will show us the way honey… I love you so much.

READ MORE - 1st 3pages: long story

My first voice record

Hi lovely Geart,

I send you the recording voice of this narciss girl, and also send the application to open it if you don’t have (the latest media player classic). So this application will play my voice nicely. :p

There are three of them, first is our last conversation while you were in airport. I sing and only my voice, you only take small part :p. the second one is title ‘at the plaza’ I tried to speak, first trying. The next is a song which is titled ‘matahari ku = my sun’

So, if you’re success this first test :P you will get more and more gifts (of course only my voice). Hahaha… I like to make you like crazy. Coz you already make me crazy too.

Well, that’s the only thing what I can give you. Happiness. Smile.

Btw, I like to read your mail many times of course. If you have time, spare times, allow me to have your words honey. Note it down and send me your mind, your activities, your friends, and family. When I read your mail this morning, I read it also to my mom. Since I had told her about us, the reality that she has to agree that her daughter falls in to a bule, and she also has to agree me wait for you. Hehe.. so that’s why I always share her the lovely story of us.

Well, actually I also have some problems to say, just to share, but that’s not so important for us, I will try to solve it my self. I hope you will focus on your study and find the best thing for your future. (wish for our future)

One thing I want you to know that, whatever we are, whoever we are, poor or rich, nice or cruel, angle or evil, we are just part of this world. We are nothing to this world, but we are something to somebody else. So the most important thing is we have to be together and support each other. Because you are meant to me and me too will cheer your life up!
At one day, I can be nothing without you and you too will feel nothing without me. But if we keep and trust each other and will not hurt each other, I will never feel loosing you.

Living here in Indonesia makes you change, it might be better from inside. You could be no one out there, but you are everything here. You are a great lovely teacher, you are a nice friend, you are my great bule boyfriend. This is where you should be there. But life is not that easy honey, you will also pass up and down, even worst, but if you go through it with somebody who cares you, and lighten your burden by making you smile, that is the way you have to go. (I want to say it towards me, hahahha)

What kind of future you want to get? To be the great carrier man? I do also want to be, but I always remember, whatever I am, I will just live for people who care to me. You can get the highest thing in this life but make sure you bring love and care with. Otherwise, there is no hope to live happily.

I don’t want to talk that much using my big mouth. But this is your girl with her big mouth. I like to tell the world what is in my mind. To make things better. Even sometimes they know better than me, but they never tell me or share me till they talk to me. :P

My dearest Geart,

At once I feel, I am going to loose you since the first day you reach Belanda. But your first email by reporting from Belanda and its contents that you told about me to your mother, that surprises me a lot. That is the first thing Geart did at the first day ‘telling his mother about me’, so I would not have to worry anymore. Thx a lot honey.

I haven’t answer your question about what do I think about your plan in December.
Should I answer this question? I am speechless. Nothing to say. Mumbling.
What is the highest word to express happiness? No one discovered yet :P


Hey, increase your skill in English writing, because you often write the wrong vocabulary. I found so many fault in it :P

Bye honey, love you so much.

Monday, September 1, 2008 3:28 PM

READ MORE - My first voice record