fixing

Thursday, October 16, 2008 10:28 PM

Hi honey, I just reach home few minutes ago. This is my first activity ‘typing’
I think I want to fix something. Even though u have described me the thing and tell the situation happened, and I can accept that. I still need to refix it again.

Actually today I made record at plaza. But it doesn’t work as I am alone and people come and go asking me then I have to pause and stop then I forget what I said before. So I retell it again by typing. I actually do not have many spare times at home to type. Finally I can feel every time I reach home, my body feels tired and need to take rest sooner. I also wake up early in the morning coz I want to give a little time to help my mom before I do my own business. i open internet early morn and check if you send something, if you send then I will think what to answer while doing my activity. I will reply asap before leaving.

Today I didn’t earn any thing. Zero!.. day by day I will taste different tention and happiness. Also boring and cheering. I had so much tention today because of my stupidity. I have so less information about phone product. I cant answer customer question directly. I have to see my notes. But I don’t want to see my notes in front of customer. So then I cant answer fast. It makes me feel stupid. I know I didn’t earn any today because I cant make them stay because they have finished asking for one question that has slow answer :P. so.. finally I decide to take staff sooner. I actually need the guy one, but its okay now if I got girl.

I thank you so much when you say you support me and proud of me. That is the only thing I want to hear. Because all the thing I did right now is for you, even though I didn’t tell it before. Now I will tell it.

Do u still remember my basic life model. the rest of my life goal? For husband and family! Right now in front of me, the one I love, the only candidate I have, the mr. right -à is you. you have done your effort and your best to come here. We have talked about December.
The idea I have is to accompany you in that lovely December. I should think how I can be with you whole days and how I can control and manage my own schedule.
Before I decided what the best thing I do for my career is related to my future husband, My life’s goal. finally I choose to make a shop. The biggest chance to arrange my own schedule and the same time to work is open a shop. I told you this is not me. But I choose this because I love you. I bend my career and willing to be someone else since I met you. it seems God has changed my life’s path. He knows better than me, I will do any thing towards the man He chooses for me.

I know what you have did to me. This is what I did to you.
Do you think I will just say “I will forget you geart…”
This is the stupid thing for real.

We plan something for real. We will have some obstacles and variety emotions. If something goes wrong… we have to fix it. If I hurt you because of frankly speaking, or uncontrolled emotion, or period condition, or angry or mad, or tired or blab la bla… I need you to stay with me, calm down via…

This lately, since I meet a lot of person at plaza… they asked me ‘do I have boyfriend’
Sometimes I explain the real condition that you are so far, sometimes I just said yes I did.
Sometimes there is match finder and I have to refuse and say I had bf, still they want to know who. The annoying thing is when I have to explain ‘ oooww he will come in December… ‘ then I will ask my self ‘shall he come on dec?’
Why I cant make sure my self that my bf will come on dec.
Because I know nothing about his plan. He just says he has plan to come on dec.
One more thing… I need communication.
If you feel comfort with me and you trust me 100% that I will keep my heart, it is because I let u know everything. I also want to know it from you. and I wait u to tell it to me.

What the hell?. What the fcuk? Is that your best word reading my notes?

I am so happy that you give me the schedule of your internship. It means you will be here on that date. It means I will see you again. Is that enough? As you had promise and make me flying with that lovely December and told you will celebrate my new year and my birthday here with me… do I deserve to hear ‘what the hell are you talking, via?’
I still can say I love you even though my tears drop and close the phone with the sad feeling. But for me… the most important thing is I know you love me. Logically you will do your best. I will wait you and end up with marriage. This is my plan. If I cant make it, that must be not my false, because I had tried my best to stay with you.

i love you with all my heart.