RE: my best friend

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 1:52 AM

I think you are already sleeping right now but im writing you anny way :p. I wouldnt trust that bf of yours. I have seen him doing all sorts of things but didnt make anny time to reply to his gf.

If i was your bf i would do differently. I would send you email every day :p.
So tommoro is the big day. What do you do on leberan day? Eat and go to see famillie?

About the assignment you send me. It looks a bit the same but to be honnest i didnt realy knew how to fill in all the empty places. I will send you the ansfers i wrote down that you asked me. Some of them are a bit unclear but you will figure it out.

first: do you know what you were born for? or since you were born and know how to live what are you doing as long as your life.- If I think of my life i think of study and learning. I cant see my life whitout study and i will never stop studying. I will learn from books, cours or school maybe. Also life is a jurney of experience. I will learn from everything i do even if its bad i will learn from it. I have bin born to live and learn till i get old and die.- For the past 22 years i have bin living for somebody else instead of me. I always put the needs of somebody else as top priority instead of my needs. I secrevised myself allot the past years for others without asking something back. The past half year i wasnt realy happy annymore, becouse people started to take adventage from me.Since im back from indonesia i stopt all my valunteer work becouse during the period i was gone nothing happend. They other ones didnt do annything. I realised i was the one doing all the work and they just took all the credit for it.Also i realised that im living now and have to make fun. I want to put myself in front and stop doing things for others. I know helping people is my nature but i will not do it annymore if it will hurt me in anny way. I like to help people so i think this is my goal in life.

second: do you know your position right now? today what you live for, what will you do thenHard to answer this question. I have bin reinventing myself for the past two years. Im still changing allot so i cant realy tell what my position is right now. Maybe this is my position :p. I can tell you the reason why i started changing allot but its a long story and will tell you later in voice record. Yes i know, i promise all the time to explain something in voice record but when will he start doing it? I dont know honey. making voice records with my mobiel was easy but mo other options all have complications. There is one who only records a max of 3 min and is almost out of memmory; the other one dosnt record clearly and the last one cant record verry well also. Trash is whit they are.I mis my indo phone. It was easy to make records and to listen to yours. Also all my indonesian music is on it and i cant listen to it anny more.- At this point i live for my study and my goal is get back to indonesia. I know there are allot of opsticals i have to pass but i will make it. I had allot more goals in my live but they got replaced for some person. Also he figured out he has to live now and stop investing in the far future. Investing is good but not at the rate i was doing it :p

third: from today to the end of life, what you gonna do?As a short answer i would say: live. I still thank my parrents that they gave me life and take care for me when im in need. They know im thankfull and i will keep reminding them im thankfull. The only thing they expact me to do is to make something of my life and dont ruin it. So the only thing i can say i will do something in my life and make the best of it.I cant realy say something about my future job. Im still student and dont know what kind of job i want to do. I would like to have my own busness in something but dont know what. The one thing that is in my planning is to get maried and have children. If i would say it on a crude way: i would like to spread my seed. I know i need a wife who i can protect and love. Also i want to have children who can take on my legacy. I know this sounds like a tipical man thing but deep inside i am a tipical man. One of my ex-gf told me that i have somekind of animal or basic instinct inside. She described me as a cave man who protects his sheeps. Also she could see it when i was angry about something or did showfighting with swords. My ex-gf described it as somekind of lights in my eyes that came out. This gf wasnt realy good to me becouse she was facinated by this animal and wanted to release it. Also this i will explain in voice record, becouse i want you to know why i like to do dangerous things and do agressive sports. <-- dont worry i never started a fight in my entire life. Also i wouldnt hurt someone who is dear to me.

Thamm, i have to stop writing right now becouse its already late. I think you will read this tommoro if you have time during leberan. I will be also verry bussy tommoro becouse i have to make clothing for someone. The funn part is im recording the proces on video so you will also learn a bit about my parttime tailer job.

Love you little girl.

Kiss