RE: morning morning morning

Thursday, October 16, 2008 3:32 PM

Hey girl,

I read your text message but decided to take shower first and rethink all. The shower cleared my mind and be rereading the text message i could figure out the down feeling beneath the message.

A long time ago and far in the beginning i said that i try to go in december and also said it was me being stupid and couldnt make promise. We have bin talking about december ever since and i forgot this was a tight schedule to make happen. I have arranged everythin i could from money, requests and school but the only thing im not in controll is the verdict of the elder commision. They gather ones a month and becouse of next week is a holliday they will not gather. So they will gather next month. I have to wait till they givew me the green light to go. If i do not and start booking tickets i can end up with plane tickets i cant use. The other reason why i cant book tickets is becouse i need a visa first. Short visets need holliday visa's and you can buy them on the airport. Becouse im planning to stay long i have to make a working visa request. For this vise i need a invitation by the school im going and a approval of my school that im doing an internship there.
I cant just fly off and go to Padang dear. If i could i would but to bad im not that rich. I just have to wait for the verdict of the elder commision and than start a request for my long stay visa. From my last visit it took more than one month to finish the request. It took a long time for the invitation to be made by the university. I dont know how long it will take for this school to write an invitation but to bwe shure i asked my coordinator the old ones from the university. If i get green light i can send these old ones as a concept invitation to the DEk school and hopefully speed things up. If i receive the invitation it will take about twoo weeks to get my visa.

Honey im trying the best i can but some things im not in controll of. I cant give fix plan but the only thing i can give you is the date my internship has to start and when it will be finished. I have to start at 2nd of februari and it will end at the 30st of may. Am i planning to go earlyer? What do you think?

The first time i read your text message i tought the hell with it. I will not put a date on it and if she cant wait she is not ment to be. Afther shower to calm down i read it again and suddenly it was a hole different text message becouse i think there is a second layer.You dont want to get hurt and becouse im not shure about december you get doubts about everything. You have bin cheated by allot of people and i understand that my last reply made your dream crumble a bit and this is a way of pretecting yourself not to fall to deep in this dream. This is a bit of a dream but dreams can becoume reality. Atleast im trying to make it reality. Thats why im working hard and i dont want to trick you in anny way. I still havent the feeling that this is a foolish dream that im persuing. I want to make it reality. Everything is arranged but unluckely there are factors that i dont have control off. Everybody of my school is telling me to go and wish me luck. Why should the elder commision not to?
Please Via i dont like to bag and i will also do not. Keep your heart and listen to it becouse he knows best. If you think im not worth the waiting please tell me so i know. If i am worth the waiting tell me also sow i will keep do my best for you. I know i still keep my heart for you but ofcours i got allot of wurries.Dont let your hopes down becouse of my anser about december and dont listen to your bro's and sis that im not comming back. I will come back to you even if i have to cross over the hole fricking ocean by swimming. I just ask of you to keep your heart.

Xx