my story

Thursday, September 4, 2008 10:48 PM

Hi baby, its so nice to write you again and again…

Actually, I have no idea what to write, but this eagerness to write you is big and after I open this word sheet, suddenly the whole things come up and really want to pour anything and share you everything. What a big mouth talk.

I already open my self piece by piece to you, by telling the story or my past, so then you can figure out who the hell is via the girl you fall in love with… (did I say fall in love?) yes! Thank you! Gotcha!

I have a story about a man I felt in love with that lives in Surabaya . As I said you I got close to him by intranet connection as we worked in the same Bank, so we chat all day long. And get closed to each other and love each other. At a time I decided to go to Surabaya to meet him, it was three months to go I have booked the ticket, I just want to show him I really meant to do it. And he’s also happy to know it. At the last moment, two months to go, his ex girl friend got back to him and ask him to be married with. He kept it for one month and he let me know after one month to go. I got really surprised what to do, I had booked my ticket, and also at the same time I was surprised and shocked that I will come there for nothing. And I really know how its feel disappointed. He said really sorry coz parents take control also. Then he offered to pay back my ticket expense. I didn’t agree, and with my big heart I decided to come as a friend. He took me anywhere even out of town, but it didn’t cure anything.

That is the story, had happened to me once, I don’t want to repeat it again. As you are now who promises to come, and I will wait you with no doubt. I promise to wait you and only give my heart for you, coz I don’t want somebody has what I have had. I will not disappoint you. I do hope you don’t have any doubt to go here or any else reason that make you cancel this travel. I already ensure my parent and they really welcome for you. Pls keep my heart Geart. I don’t want to repeat many disappointments in my life.

I had told you a lot of past stories I have, actually I have more a lot that I could not tell more to people. But they look at me as a cheerful girl, in fact it is me to welcome any hurt to my life and go with the flow. I know one thing. It is not easy to get a diamond. You have to dig deep to get the stone, and do so hard to make it as a diamond. So that’s what I believe… one day, I will get the best thing for life.

When I figure out why I was born, what I should live for, and how I should die…

The answer is family and God.

I was born to make things better. Better for family (parents, husband, children, etc)

I should live for parents, husband, children, etc. whatever to do is to make them happy.

And I should die in peace where God accepts me as a good follower.

That is the chart. But sometimes, the chart becomes blur also when I loose control, stress, depression, pressure, and become crazy. When you saw me the late two weeks is via in a good control, calm and confidence.

This past five years, I planed to fulfill my needs and help my parents, but I failed. I just help my self. I always tell them to, but I cant make it. My parents fully understand the situation and ask me not to force my self. Because there is nothing I should be worried. All brothers and sisters have been success and I had submitted something for their today successful. Parent also has something to earn. Its only me who should be worried about, hahaha…stupid girl.

Now I am free.